Life comes at you fast. Flashback to this time last year and I was happily engaged to a lovely woman, Rebecca Golding. But today I am a divorced man. All because the woman I thought I loved was a fraud.
You see, when I met Rebecca I thought we had all the same views. We were both pro-LGBTQ rights, we knew black lives mattered before it was trendy. We hated kids in cages. Most importantly, we were both staunch feminists. To me women are equals, there’s no ifs, ands or buts about it. Pay gap? Absolutely disgusting, women deserve every dollar that a man can earn (and arguably even more than that!) Abortion is a right and lawmakers should stop legislating womens’ bodies.
Rebecca and I agreed on everything…until we got married. After the wedding, Rebecca decided to take my last name. The fucking nerve! Why should she take my name? We were equals, she didn’t belong to me. Our kids were supposed to have hyphenated last names. But she had to betray me by submitting. Five years of a relationship and it took until our wedding day to learn she had such antiquated, patriarchal views. It sickened me. The moment we returned from our honeymoon, I found a great divorce lawyer and started the proceedings.
Finally my yearlong terror is over. I’m a free man and I can finally find someone who understands me! Rebecca is free too, but for all the wrong reasons. I hope she realizes the error of her ways.
HornRimmer 