Culture

I Miss My Cheeto Fingers

In a world where a multitude of things can kill a man: jealous girlfriends, women managers, and even feelings, we now have a new threat to navigate. 

Cheeto fingers.

Chowing down on your favorite bag of cheetos can kill you! Before Covid-19, sticking your fingers in your mouth was the only certifiable way to get the last bit of cheeto dust off your hands. It even turned your partner on! 

But now, doing that is basically just hand delivering coronavirus straight into your lungs! I mean, your body your choice, but lick at your own risk!

I’m sure it’s not the first time you’ve licked something you shouldn’t have. (Remember 7th grade gym class?) You would do anything to be able to lick cheeto dust off your fingers again without turning into patient zero. Will we ever be able savor the flamin’ hot goodness ever again‽