Hipsters from Burbank to Bed-Stuy are making Jell-O in their quarantine homes, and their girlfriends and wives are left cleaning up after them. The rising popularity of this homemade gelatin dessert has created a disturbing trend among heterosexual cis-couples across the country. Quarantine is forcing previously woke couples into heteronormative 1950s gender roles. “It started as a few dishes,” said victim Carol Dixon, “but now I do all the cooking and the cleaning while my husband claims that he has to work. We both have full-time jobs!”
Scientists cite banana bread as the inciting factor of this gender role de-evolution. Researchers at Clifton University report that couples who saw a gay friend make banana bread on Instagram were 70% more likely to make it themselves, and of that group, 53% of the men were likely to pressure the women to make it for them.
“This is an epidemic,” said Gloria Steinem, “Well, I mean yeah, it’s an epidemic, but this is another epidemic. We fought for men to help out with household chores in the 70s. Now every working mom is a Suzy Homemaker.”
Scientists and activists are unsure of a solution to this problem, but they know in order to fix it they will have to be transparent and amorphous in their techniques.