Dating Quiz

How to Tell if a Guy is a PC or Console Gamer Based on the Way He Fingers You

Hey there, ladies! Are you curious what kind of gamer the guy you’re sleeping with is? Take this quiz and find out!

  1. Does he go at it with refined wrist motion and precision?
    1. Yes, he can find the clitoris
    2. He mostly just presses around and hopes something works
    3. He will absent-mindedly poke around with one finger until he gets bored
  2. How many fingers?
    1. 2
    2. 3
    3. ½ 
  3. How much foreplay is necessary for him to get started?
    1. He is down and dirty in a record 4.9 seconds
    2. He likes to take a good 10 minutes to heat things up first, then slowly make his way down, taking breaks every few minutes to remind me of useful sex tips
    3. None, he’s half-asleep before, during, and after
  4. How confident is he in his ability to pleasure you?
    1. He is the self-proclaimed Fing-King. There are other techniques out there, but those are different, and therefore inferior
    2. He has the unabashed overconfidence of a twelve-year-old boy just old enough to know the F-word, but somehow not quite old enough to know not to use racial slurs.
    3. He’s hot trash and he knows it. He’s hoping you’re just as disinterested enough not to care about quality
  5. How many orgasms do you have?
    1. Orgasm?
    2. Orgasm?
    3. Orgasm?

You got:

Mostly a’s= PC gamer

Congrats! Your man is a gaming “master”. This sounds problematic until you realize that the only people he discriminates against are ones with high ping. He never does anything casually. Sex isn’t just an activity, it’s a competition. If you’re here to have fun, you’re in for a rough night. Fun isn’t for winners.

Mostly b’s= console gamer

That’s right, this guy is a console gamer, which means that he knows how to push buttons. Whether he plays on PS4, Xbox, or he’s a soft little baby boy on his cute Nintendo Switch, he can work his way around any machine, and your vagina is no exception. But he will finish up soon to actually play video games.

Mostly c’s= mobile gamer

You found a mobile gamer. He doesn’t have time for silly things like video games. He’s busy doing things in the “real world”. But that doesn’t mean he can’t turn his brain off for a few minutes and swipe his finger mindlessly, so take a guess what you’re in for. Don’t expect too much out of his performance, because just like his gaming, it barely qualifies as the real thing.