Dating Lifestyle

Masturbuation Just Not Doing It Anymore

After cumming for the seventh time that day, Tony Black, 28, came to the realization that masturbation was just not doing it anymore. He had been using this form of self-pleasure to pump dopamine directly into his brain for years, but lately the post-orgasm high no longer had that euphoric feeling he grew up loving. This feeling has been described by economists as the Law of Diminishing Returns. 

“Jerking off was always such a break from the world, it was the time I could really feel something, control something. When the world seemed too chaotic, at least I could jack off. But now, I understand what my freshman econ teacher was talking about during his lecture on declining utility.” 

Not all is lost, his roommate reportedly has seen him taking some carrots, and other phallic-shaped veggies, into his room. Bank statements also show he has made a $40 purchase on OnlyFans, in a move economists are describing as stimulating for multiple reasons.