Rimmers love fashion! It’s one of the reasons our loyal HornRimmer readers love our fashion coverage. Take this quiz to figure out if you are a Fashionista, an obsessed high fashion consumer, a Maxxinista, a someone who loves fashion but also a good deal, or a Sandinista, a member of a communist militia!
- How much do you enjoy shopping?
- I absolutely love it. I can’t live without shopping. I’m at the mall every weekend.
- I enjoy shopping, but really only buy what I need.
- Shopping is a form of consumerism that requires the exploitation of the proletariat.
- What’s your budget?
- I have no budget. I travel to Europe to visit the fashion houses of all the top designers. My suits are all handwoven by Giorgio Armani himself.
- I like to spend less than $50 in my shopping sprees. I want to look good, but my bank account comes first.
- I do not believe in the private accumulation of wealth. The government needs to forcibly redistribute wealth to ensure equality for all people.
- How would you describe your style?
- The newest fashion, cutting edge, pulled straight from the runway.
- I’m okay with wearing last quarter’s fashion if it fits me and if I can still afford lunch the next day.
- Camouflage to keep myself hidden in the jungle as I fight off the fascist Contras, backed by your country’s CIA.
- How do you show off your looks?
- I strut down the sidewalk and make sure everyone is looking at ME!
- I don’t show off my fashion, but when someone compliments my shirt, my day is made and I tell them how great of a deal I got.
- My enemies don’t notice me until my combat blade is being driven into their throats.
Results: If you answered mostly A’s, congratulations you’re a Fashionista. You’re a style icon, when you walk down the street, people turn their heads. The average person wishes they could be you. You have Karl Lagerfeld’s cat, Choupette, on speed dial and have an entire closet dedicated to pocket squares, ascots and ties.
If you answered mostly B’s, great, you’re a Maxxinista. You might not always be on the cutting edge, but you know what colors and patterns look good on you. Sure, your off-brand Vans aren’t actually the same size, but they were on the clearance rack next to one another and that counts for something. With the money you save on clothes, you’re able to buy all the off-brand candy by the cash register. Organic fruit snacks? De-lish!
If you answered mostly C’s, then the Contras better look out! You’re a Sandinista! You might insist fashion isn’t for you, but camo is in right now! That doesn’t matter though because you have a country to run. The idea of private fashion houses sickens you, the proletariat should be in charge of the means of production and if the government has to take control to make sure that happens, then so be it.