Do you find yourself only acknowledging your girlfriend when you’re both online? Have you been sexting less because you’re tarantula farming? Do your friends think you’re going home for sexy time, but really it’s because Tom Nook is waiting for you? Then you, sir, might just be addicted to Animal Crossing.
Of course, that means your girlfriend has been nagging you about feeling neglected lately. Don’t worry though dude, here are some tips that’ll let you keep seeing that cute little villager every day and make your girlfriend happy.
- First, reassure your girl that Tom Nook means nothing to you. Don’t forget to tell her that you can’t help it if all your villagers are cute, and even though the sassy little bunny gives you DIY recipes every morning, she does it for everyone else. Your partner has nothing to worry about!
- Second, open up your island gates and invite your girlfriend over for a romantic dinner in your newly renovated second story house. The real-life cash flow may be a little slow right now, but you’re a bell baller on this island. Show off that fantastic kitchen, because it is the hardest room to make. Make sure you’re a true gentleman, and pick her up at the airport when she lands. There’s no way your girl isn’t going to be impressed by this creative, cool, new, date night idea.
- Third, ask her to cuddle with you on the couch. She has been telling you lately that you don’t even touch her because you can’t put your Switch down. So now you don’t have to! Just make sure you give her a Switch and have it logged onto Animal Crossing. How much more thoughtful and attentive could you get? Now you can be the perfect social media couple as she cuddles up in your arms and you both experience the Animal Crossing adventure.
- Lastly, don’t forget to send her postcards from your island with presents! What girl doesn’t love getting presents? The best part is you don’t even have to spend any bells on these presents; pro tip, shake your trees and furniture will fall out. Send her some furniture every once in a while. Who wouldn’t want a long bathtub in their new house? Or you could even send her some fruit. Help her grow her island’s fauna and send her those coveted pears, coconuts, cherries, peaches, or apples. There are so many opportunities for you to show you care and support her without actually doing her anything.
If you follow all of our tips then your girlfriend will be happy and, most importantly, you’ll be happy that you can play Animal Crossing without her nagging. If she still has the nerve to nag and complain after you’ve put so much effort into her virtual character, it might be time to look for a new girlfriend. Let’s be honest, you know you deserve a big titty goth girlfriend who will monitor turnip prices for you.
HornRimmer 