Reports came flooding in Monday night that described a man, most likely in his late 60s, hopping into the 134 person store-wide check-out line with an empty cart and proceeding to do all of his shopping while holding his place in line. The act occurred at the Trader Joe’s in Manhattan’s Upper West Side, a spot notorious for its long lines and dwindling stock. The man, seen wandering up to 30 feet away from his cart at times, was blissfully unaware of the cavernous gap being created between him and the shopper in front of him.
“I don’t know, last time I saw him he was holding up two different types of salsa,” said Kelly Bichon who had the unfortunate luck of standing behind the man in line. “Can I inch his cart forward? Would he notice? I feel awkward.”
The man continued his line-stalling shopping adventure by standing in the frozen foods aisle while holding up a box of Mandarin-Style Orange Chicken and a bag of Outside-In Stuffed Gnocchi, before finally putting both down and returning to his cart which still only held a single carton of cage-free eggs.
Despite multiple attempts to reach out for comment, and confirmation of identity, HornRimmer was unable to do so, as the man was last seen wandering near the free samples stand, seemingly abandoning his cart with only the carton of eggs at the front of the line.