How To Lifestyle

5 Fashion Must Haves for World War III

Artist’s Rendition of a lonely eboy watching the world end.

We might have backed ourselves off the ledge for now, but with the mercurial nature of geopolitics, what better time to stock up on all the latest trends in paramilitary civilian wear. You’ll be looking absolutely nuclear with these styles that are fashionable and functional!

1. A button-up shirt from UnTuck It because you shouldn’t have to sacrifice refinement when sacrificing your life.

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2. The new bulletproof vest from Patagonia because you should be able to take your Wall Street clout anywhere. Even the battlefields of Iran.

3. Gucci’s newest bomb diffusing satchel kit because every real man knows it’s not a purse and the leather ages beautifully.

4. A pair of night vision Ray-Bans, because you still want to have drip while fighting in the dark.

5. A dog tag with the answer to what color you think this dress is so we know how to treat your corpse.

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