French Guy Pretty “Eh” About Being Murdered

Marcel Toussaint doesn’t understand why he’s about to be killed, but he’s pretty fine with it. “It was bound to happen,” he says as he has a gun pointed at him, “It’s not ideal but such is life” 

A tech worker, Marcel is about to fall victim to this random act of gun violence and is slightly bored with the situation. “I assumed it would be more exciting,” he said, “a gunshot is so gauche. I wish he would actually kill me with his hands instead of hiding behind a gun like an American.” 

When asked to comment, the killer said, “Oh, I didn’t know he felt that way. I can be more accommodating if that’s what you’d like.” 

“Oh please,” said Marcel, “that would be très magnifique. I will struggle a little, but I am omens specter of death head-on, so just ignore that” 

“Thank you, I haven’t killed someone like that in years,” said the killer, “Oh, just like old times. Honestly, the industry has moved to using guns but I miss a classic strangulation or stabbing” 

“Oui, oui. Let’s get to it.” 

Marcel died that day.