Get ready to pop a 911 because straight people have just discovered Chromatica! Lady Gaga’s critically acclaimed sixth studio album graced the world on May 29, 2020, setting gay twitter on fire with dance-pop fever. Now, six months later, straight woman Courtney Betancourt is finally joining the party!
Betancourt is seriously loving the album so far. The transition from Chromatica II to 911 literally turned her inside out, much like it did to millions of gays before her.
“When that beat suddenly changed it was like the song punched me in the chest,” gushed a visibly winded Betancourt. “Like, it tore down the wallpaper of my soul and showed me that Gaga’s world is more superior and ethereal than my own existence.”
Betancourt is certainly going hard for Chromatica! She even pulled a muscle trying to do Lady Gaga’s dance parts from Rain on Me. When asked for her impressions of the other songs from the album, she only said “Were you gonna ask me about Sour Candy? That song should be constitutional law!”
The LGBTQ+ community is having mixed reactions to Courtney’s freshman-like excitement for Chromatica. “I’m happy she’s here, but she’s going to hurt herself if she keeps headbanging to Stupid Love” said Carradine Kung, a physical therapist from Brooklyn.
Shane Westfall, a client experience manager from Miami was less impressed with her giddiness. “Oh you love Chromatica? So does everyone else.”
HornRimmer 