After a ten-year study looking at the hotness of men across many industries, scientists at Stanford have concluded that Tony Soprano is the only hot man to have ever existed.
Researchers’ methods were controversial, but many are citing them as effective. For each test, pictures of Mr. Soprano (and other men of lesser hotness) were shown to Sicilian nonnas, New Jersey mothers, and lunchtime visitors to the local pizza joint. Participants were then asked to fill out questionnaires that were designed to evaluate Soprano on two critical variables: perceived hotness and inherent hotness.
On these two metrics, Tony scored sky-high, with multiple participants describing him as “Soppressata” or “Calabrian chili” hot. At least one participant was seen leaving the testing site, repeating the word “marone” over and over while making hand gestures and blushing.