Today has taken a swift turn for the worse as Janet, your oversharing coworker, has got you cornered in the communal office kitchen while you wait for your lunch to heat up. You’ve already survived the first part of a global pandemic, but now this?? Maybe if you just stare at the microwave and ignore her she will go away? The last time you were in this position you ended up hearing about her affair with a sailor she had when she was in her 20s. Oh god, why does soup take 120 seconds? It’s so LONG! Oh man, she’s starting to talk about her dead sister, and yet for some reason, she’s smiling? Is she telling a joke? Okay, smile, laugh- oh-oh god, she’s tearing up? No, no- please don’t put your hand on mine, please- [DING] OH THANK GOD. The microwave has dinged and you can now make your exit. Or can you? We’ll check back in 20 minutes and see if she’s told you the story about how her mediocre kid is the next Cristiano Ronaldo.