Poo-Pourri is Saving My Marriage

Man, where would I be without Poo-Pourri? This stuff has single-handedly saved my marriage from dumps that, as my wife puts it, smell so offensive they should be banned from modern society.

María and I get along wonderfully. Dating her was really great. Marrying her was even sweeter. But we only moved in together after the wedding. That’s when our relationship started going downhill. One week into our marriage, she had already moved all her toiletries to the downstairs bathroom because she could not stand the smell after I did my business. 

The stench would hit her like a cannonball. She gagged every time she had to go into the bathroom. It put a strain on our marriage as she no longer wanted to do anal with me. As much as I sympathized for her plight, I literally couldn’t control what my shit smells like! It was sucky and I missed what we used to have. 

Then my buddy told me about this thing called Poo-Pourri, which masks the smell of poo with a nice lavender scent. Desperate to get my wife back, I ordered $50 worth of that stuff and went to the bathroom. 

And believe me, this stuff works wonders! No longer do I leave a lingering stench after my poops! María moved back into the upstairs bathroom and feels more comfortable eating my ass again.  

Thank you Poo-Pourri! You’ve saved my marriage! But I have to go have dinner now; steak and beans, my favorite, I eat it at least 3 times a week.