Dating Well, Actually

Sorry, I Don’t Think You’re Pretty, Just Objectively Attractive

Dear Friend that is Female,

I really don’t like that I am forced to say this, it makes things really awkward. While I am flattered at your interest in me, I don’t think it is a good idea. I don’t intend to be mean, because you’re an important female friend of mine. Do I find you attractive? Yeah, no shit! You’d be hard-pressed to find a straight man that would say otherwise, but I just don’t think you’re pretty. Again, I’m not trying to hurt your feelings here. I’m a man; feelings have no place in the realm of sexual attraction. I’m just stating facts here, and the fact is that you are not pretty, just objectively attractive. 

According to Trends in Cognitive Sciences, the most conclusive working hypothesis on facial attractiveness relies on the evolutionary selection of mate choice determined by three main physical components (Thornhill and Gangestad 1999). These components are facial symmetry, averageness, and hormone markers. These are essential evolutionary sexual selection features that indicate health so that any offspring will be fit and healthy.

Considering that you definitely hit at least two, if not all three of these features, you are objectively and scientifically attractive. Good job! 

Pretty, on the other hand, is a much more subjective adjective. I think that clear blue lakes and the 1968 Ford Mustang GT are pretty, but you’re not, and that’s actually OK! 

So as tough as it may be to hear, I don’t think we should pursue anything at this time. I simply can’t, in good conscience, date someone who I don’t find incredibly pretty. Not that you asked, or that it’s ever come up, but I thought I should let you know. 

Works Cited

Thornhill, Randy, and Steven W. Gangestad. “Facial Attractiveness.” Trends in Cognitive Sciences, vol. 3, no. 12, Dec. 1999, pp. 452–460., doi:10.1016/s1364-6613(99)01403-5.