Culture Well, Actually

In This Climate, I’m Glad Both My Grandfathers are Dead

Another day, another white male put out to pasture for disgusting and revolting comments towards women or minorities. And for every white man who gets cancelled, another three run for president. Every day as these pigs are exposed as bigots, or win another state in the primary, all I can think about is one thing: thank god my two white, veteran grandfathers are dead. 

Look, my grandfathers didn’t seem racist at the time, I was a kid, but now as an adult they would’ve definitely voted for Trump. Or Bloomberg even. Looking back, you never knew what was going to come out of their mouths. Grandpa Herman was still rambling on about “those Orientals” even as we crowded around his hospital bed before he passed. In today’s climate, I’m just thankful we rolled Herman into the ground on September 10th, 2001. 

Being dead is the only way to stop your problematic family members from getting canceled. 

Hold up, that sentence sounded murdery… DON’T KILL THEM PLEASE, just be glad when they’re gone.