Culture Well, Actually

Coronavirus Stoked to Expand in the US Market

BY: CO-BRO-NAVIRUS 

Never in our wildest dreams did we imagine this amount of success for us. We started in a dingy market stall in Wuhan, China. Now we’re in 100+ countries and counting. COVID-19 is making BANK baby! 

Now we’re in America, we’re in the big leagues now bro. Bitches are washing their hands like crazy, but they’re still coughing into them. Barely anyone is getting tested because they can’t make the test kits fast enough. Infected people are walking around for DAYS before they show symptoms and freak out. America is a cesspool and we are Michael Fucking Phelps. 

Bro, we are here to FUCK and DISRUPT. They already canceled SXSW, Ultra, and the Women’s Ice Hockey World Championships. Getting the Tokyo Olympics canceled is our goal, and would be the icing on the cake. No one’s going anywhere, and neither are we. 

We wanna give a quick shoutout to all the Co-bros out there. We couldn’t have done this alone, it was all of us together that made this shit happen. Keep grinding and keep dem bitches sneezing.