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Trump Changes Constitution to Allow “Third Trimester” Presidency

President Trump announced earlier this morning that he had succeeded in changing The Constitution to allow himself to be president for what he calls a “third trimester.” The rule change would apply only to himself of course, and not any other presidents that could potentially succeed him. 

Trump explained at a White House press conference “All I did was open up The Constitution in Microsoft Word and make a 28th amendment saying I can run for a third term. It’s as simple as that folks. Sleepy Joe can’t get it done like me!”

When asked about whether the American people would want him in the White House for a third time, Trump replied “Of course they want this for me. My good pals at Fox want me in there a fourth and a fifth time too.”   

When asked what he would do if Americans didn’t elect him for a second term, he said “Well that’s not going to happen. We can’t trust the results of the election because there’s just so much fraud going on. It’s a shame I had to abolish voting, but the Dems would’ve taken advantage of it. We can’t let them have people vote!” 

Trump is reported in talks to appoint three more Supreme court justices if elected for a second term, just for good measure.